April 5, 2019...
We live in a kind of a crazy (and crazy-making) culture - one that encourages us to be productive all the time, at any cost. Tired? Drink coffee or Red Bull, take a shower, hit the gym. Don’t rest! For god's sake, don’t nap!
Hitting a wall with work? Take a course on motivation. Meet with a coach. Push through. Suck it up, buttercup.
Procrastination is a sign of weakness. Lazy is a four letter word.
We are so indoctrinated into this way of thinking, we may not stop to question the truth of these notions - or their effectiveness - or their sustainability.
I used to be an over-doer. Fueled by fears I was barely aware of, I worked all the time. I didn’t realize I was working myself into exhaustion or repetitive stress injuries until my body finally screamed (in pain), STOP!
I was so lucky to be working with my beloved therapist and mentor, Robyn, who had walked a similar path herself. She helped me understand that it doesn’t have to be this way (quote on going slowly).
Over time, I have learned to trust my body’s rhythms. If work isn’t coming easily, it usually means I need to rest - even if I’ve been resting! I might just need more.
I’ve learned that procrastination is about getting ready, something good is percolating, and I can trust that it will emerge at the right time.
Lazy doesn’t exist. It’s a negative label we give to fatigue, lack of interest, or the need to take a break and just play or putter.
Over the last few months, I haven’t felt engaged with the work of writing my course on Healthy Secure Adulting. I had one deadline to meet, and I made it. But it wasn’t fun. I am taking classes to learn how to create engaging, effective online training. But it’s been feeling like a slog to get through the work. I began to worry that I’ve forgotten how to teach - something I have loved and done well for nearly 17 years!
So I have given myself permission to put it all down for a while. I’ve been walking in nature, enjoying the wildflower show courtesy of a rainy spring. I’ve been writing poems with my friend, Wendy, in what is now an annual tradition for us - national poetry writing month, in which we each write a poem a day for thirty days. I’ve been napping and watching my favorite old TV shows.
And this morning, all the tiredness and too-busyness and brain fog I’d been having completely lifted. I wrote the first four sections of my course on boundaries in less than an hour. It came easily. I was able to integrate the information I’ve learned about online course development. And it was fun.
All this to say, if you’re tired, rest. If you’re bored, do something that feeds you. If you’re feeling unproductive, stop trying to push through. Play. Read a book. Watch TV. Do nothing. Fully give yourself over to letting go. Trust that as your body and psyche receive the care they need, they will revive. And you will return to anything you feel a true desire to create or accomplish from a place of excitement and energy - instead of stress or obligation.
